There can never be enough flowers! (especially in February)
February- the month of all things LOVE. I’m all for romantic love, never ending love, passionate love, devoted love, star crossed love etc. but I’m here to to tell you that there is something more important that needs to be in place first, before you can have that ideal partnership or a gorgeous, love infused life.
Can you guess what it is?
I bet you can.
Yes, it’s SELF LOVE.
In The Name Of Love (not the U2 song- self love!)
Now maybe I’m stating the obvious here but often self love is an afterthought (particularly with women).
Unfortunately there was a period in my life where I wasn’t a great practitioner of the art of self love and it wasn’t pretty!
Basically it was a sobbing on the bathroom floor, shlepping around in sweat pants, not bothering to touch up my roots, no energy to see friends, overwhelmed with life type of situation, one I am not in a hurry to recreate!
I sometimes see the self love deficit in my clients.
They are smart, successful, loving, generous women who tend to put the needs of their partners, children, parents / family members, and sometimes even coworkers and bosses, ahead of what they need, and with fuzzy boundaries they wind up feeling depressed or resentful (or both).
As you go about your busy life I want to ensure that you are seeing to YOUR needs, which are just as important as the needs of your loved ones (if not more!).
Why Self Love is Priority 1!
If you are practicing self love, you then have the energy, the health, the mind set, the sense of generosity to love your partner, your family, your community and basically, the world.
(*The other day I did a Facebook Live video on this very subject which you can see HERE – scroll down on my feed to find it if you are interested.)
As a mom I know that if I am not taking care of myself properly I can end up irritated and snappy with my kids. This is a red flag for me that I need to take some sort of action whether that is to get out of the house, take an exercise class, have some alone time and meditate, be surrounded by nature -whatever I need to get me back to feeling good.
However the trick is not to let it get to that ‘red flag’ point- preventative medicine girlfriend!
My Valentine’s Gift to You! …
…A Check List For Feeling Good
Whether you are partnered up or flying solo, below is a list of nurturing, pampering things you can do to care for yourself this Valentines Day (and EVERY day!).
To help you slow down and calm down-
-Meditate
-Walk a labyrinth
-Sit outside in nature and observe the wildlife around you
-Light a candle and focus on your breath, breathing deeply
-Take a yoga class
-If you are so inclined, check out a church service or just visit one to sit in silence
-Get yourself a colourful pack of pencil crayons and color a mandala
My mindfulness mandala colouring book
To give yourself an energetic boost…
-Buy your self a gorgeous bouquet of flowers
-Allow yourself to be pampered, go and get your hair blown out or arrange for a pedicure, and for fun pick a nail polish color that is totally outside your comfort zone!
-Book a massage, and if that is too pricey do it yourself! Give yourself a neck or foot massage with some fragrant oils. Studies show that a foot massage before bed can enhance your sleep.
-Splurge on some beautiful lingerie (no saggy butt grama panties!). By taking your wardrobe and self care up a notch you send subliminal messages to your soul that YOU matter!
-Snuggle up in a soft blanket with a good book and a cup of hot tea (To really get that cozy vibe going I recommend Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series set in the snowy and picturesque Quebec Townships or ‘The Nest’ by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney (book pictured below)- it’s a raw but funny read.
-De- clutter an area of your house, preferably a spot that you view frequently. Place a beautiful object there or fresh flowers and get a ‘hit’ of pleasure every time your eyes rest on that spot.
-Sit down for a delicious meal (even if its just for you!), use your best dishware, glasses and cloth napkins -light a candle and savour your food.
-Redecorate a dreary space, rearrange the furniture, paint, shop for an ‘inspirational’ object that you can decorate around. Don’t put up with areas in your home that bring you down (This is an area I need to work on big time!).
This was a Christmas present from Steve and I loved it!
To shift your mind set-
-Call a good friend for a chat or meet up for coffee
-Watch, view, listen to UPLIFTING things (banish the news, political social media stuff, horror flicks etc.). TED Talks can expand your world, comedies are good for the soul and Netflix has the sumptuous series ‘The Crown’ with clothes and sets that are guaranteed to take you out of your head space and into the world of Queen Elizabeth II!
-Go to a bookstore and pick out a book or magazine that you don’t typically read. If you generally read mysteries, try one of the classics or sci- fi. If you usually buy Oprah’s ‘O’ magazine pick up ‘National Geographic’ instead and allow yourself to be amazed by cultures and animals from the far corners of the globe.
-Get the focus off your own life and help someone else. Volunteer your time in some way. If you don’t have the time, donate to a charity that has meaning for you. Make cookies for your elderly neighbour, offer to walk a friends dog, check in on someone who may be isolated. Helping others is a wonderful thing and it helps us feel good too!
The inner fix-
-If your head feels about to burst, pull out a pen and your journal. Try ‘stream of consciousness’ writing like Julia Cameron describes in her or start book The Artist’s Way, or start a dream journal. Write down whatever snippets from your dream you can recall. Review your journals from time to time to capitalize on the wisdom that you will find there. Often our subconscious knows things waaaaaay before we do!
-Watch your self talk! Sometimes we can be beating ourselves down without even being aware of it. If something is bothering you try to pin point what the issue is. Instead of fixating on what isn’t working in your life, focus on what IS working and direct your attention to what you want to have happen in the future.
Say things to yourself like;
‘Only good things happen to me…’
‘Things may be challenging now but I will figure it out as I go along…’
‘Won’t it be wonderful when_______happens’.
Self care to the max!-
-If you are struggling don’t white knuckle it by going it alone. Hire someone to assist you, get yourself a counsellor or coach.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck in your life that is my speciality! In my Overwhelmed to Optimal coaching program I work with clients privately to get them unstuck and back on track to creating their BEST lives.
Snowshoeing on Mt. Seymour with my pal Kathryn – gorgeous scenery on a blue sky day!
Wishing you much ‘joie de vivre’ (‘a cheerful enjoyment of life’) this February!
So there is my Valentine’s gift to you!
I hope todays post reminded you of the importance of SELF LOVE -before anything else, and showed you the many ways we can care for ourselves daily.
xo
Eliz
PSIf you are a local woman (Vancouver, BC area) there are just a few spots left for our afternoon coaching workshop based on concepts from Glennon Doyle Melton’s bestselling book ‘Love Warrior’ if you would like to join us Feb. 19th in Ocean Park. Click here for full details.
