I used to be the type of person who didn’t like to ask others for anything. I prided myself on my independence and the ability to handle whatever life threw at me. But over the years this has changed and I have become a great believer in the power of ‘the ask’.
A few things that helped me shift my perspective…
Having your son diagnosed with Fragile X at age 3, and later with Autism, well let’s just say that prompts you to start asking!
Asking for extra child care help from family, asking for advice from behavioural interventionists and doctors, and asking for continual feedback and information from your son’s teachers is some of the asking that occurs.
And in the last two years I have done some big asking in regards to my career.
My big ask…
A year or so ago, I was looking for work that I could do from home, alongside my coaching business, and as I started looking at the job postings I noticed that for most individuals who held a Masters Degree in Vocational Rehabilitation Counselling (as I do), that they also held the RCC (Registered Clinical Counsellor) designation.
I did not have this designation.
The RCC is a certification that allows you to register as a clinical counsellor here in BC, it allows you to obtain insurance, and to work with clients from agencies such as WorkSafeBC, ICBC and RCMP Victim Services.
It is a weighty credential and I realized I really wanted it.
First you want and then you ask.
Way back in 2004, pre kids and pre marriage, I graduated from the first ever Vocational Rehabilitation Masters program in the Counselling faculty at the University of British Columbia, and that is where I started my task.
I pulled out my old transcripts and looked at the course content and compared it to what was needed to apply for the RCC credential.
Then I called my former professor, the one who oversaw the VR Masters program and asked her about this RCC designation.
She said that current VR Masters graduates do leave the program with the qualifications necessary to obtain their RCC. But as I was in the pilot program my prof had to go back and look into our course content as things had changed since I was a student.
I then realized I would have to make two big ‘asks’ of my former program supervisors both of whom I had lost touch with over the years.
Gulp.
Why we should never assume.
There was no way around it, I had to approach my former supervisors.
The first one wasn’t too daunting as we had worked in the same organization a handful of years ago, and when I contacted her to ask about her vouching for me she said “Yes”.
One down!
The second ‘ask’ was definitely more of a challenge as I had not seen this supervisor in over 15 years, but as it was the only way to get that RCC designation, I tracked him down (he is a psychologist) and sent an email to his office.
“Hi Professor X, I’m sure you don’t remember me as it was 15 years ago but you supervised me at the New Westminster Counselling Clinic when I was in the Voc Rehab Masters program”….
I tried to give him some more detail to help jog his memory regarding who I was, but obviously in 15 years he would have seen many students.
I knew it was a very long shot but it was my only chance.
To my total surprise, I got an email back from him fairly quickly and he said he did remember me very well!
Stuff happens.
Now it wasn’t because of my sparkling, memorable personality lol but because that voc rehab class of mine, that he oversaw at the counselling clinic was the ONLY one he ever supervised for UBC!
He explained that right around the time I was a student in that counselling practicum his own private practice got so busy that he had to step away from teaching to focus solely on his business. That is why my class was the only one he was ever involved with, and that was why he did remember me.
Things were looking up!
Long story short, I told him what I needed from him, asked him whether he would be willing to be a reference for me, and he said that yes, he was open to this possibility..
So we met, I did some additional work for him so he knew that I was competent as a counsellor and he signed off on my RCC application!
And a few weeks later when I asked the professor who oversaw my Voc Rehab Masters degree if she would act as an employment reference for me , she too said “yes”.
How ‘the ask’ helped me…
- Thanks to ‘the ask’ I got the RCC designation I needed, which allowed me to gain entry to the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors.
- Thanks to ‘the ask’ I landed a pretty perfect job as a vocational consultant, one that allows me to work from home, to be there after school for my kids, while allow me to continue my coaching and counselling work.
- And thanks to ‘the ask’ I was able to take the picture of me above.
YES!
That is me! A bonafide certified counsellor, in my new part time counselling office in White Rock (The Counselling Group) where I was waiting to meet with a lovely client!
Yay!
And it was all due to the power of ‘the ask’.
Be grateful but ask for more
On the whole, I think women are conditioned to be grateful for what they have and are not hard wired to ask for more. But I know that you can be grateful while at the same time wanting more for yourself, and that there is great POWER in asking for what you want.
And the opportunities to ask are all around us!
- The other weekend when I was pressed for time, I asked my son Will to wash the floors instead of me doing it, and he did it.
- I ask my husband to bring me tea in bed in each morning allowing me time to wake up in a peaceful manner, and he kindly obliges me.
- I asked a friend whether I could host a coaching event at her beautiful farm and she was on board for it.
- Two weeks ago I asked for a raise for my consulting work. And I got it.
What ‘ask’ is in YOU?
What would you like to ask for?
- More support with your children?
- More fun times with your partner?
- More money for the work you do?
- More self care?
- A spontaneous summer trip?
- A position in your company that fits better with your skills and qualifications?
You were meant for it all, so ASK!
xo
Eliz
PS…
As some of you may know I am in the process of phasing out Full Flight Life Coaching and bringing into creation Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services.
I’ll be using the old Full Flight website / blog for awhile but over the next 6 months or so I hope to get a new website elizabethritchie.com up and running and going forward my work will be a combination of counselling & coaching which I will do part time out of The Counselling Group offices in beautiful White Rock, BC while continuing with my consulting work.
And now with my RCC credential it means some of my clients can access my services under their employee health benefits and get full or partial coverage! (depends on your plan though).
For more information about the Counselling / Coaching contact me at elizjturner@gmail.com or click HERE
Full Flight Life Coaching has been a fabulous ride and I hope you will continue the journey with me through Elizabeth Ritchie Counselling & Coaching Services (you will still receive my emails just the name will change).
Thanks for your ongoing support!
xo
Eliz
June 2019
