Oliver turns 13 years old April 9th!
As most of you know, I’m a mom of a wonderful, soon to be 13 year old son who happens to have special needs.
Nine years ago, Oliver’s pediatrician ushered Steve and I into his office and told us that our sweet, smiley four year old boy had a condition called Fragile X Syndrome. He then briefly summarized what this was and how it would affect our first born child.
I recall asking him about Oliver’s future prospects.
Will he go to high school, be able to read, live independently?
The doctor’s answer was frustratingly vague, something like; “Only time will tell”, but he did share something else with us.
He told us that over the years he had been in practice, he had seen parents of special needs children coddle and baby their child, doing for them, year after year, so that by the time they reached adulthood there wasn’t much progression in terms of independence.
He went on.
On the other hand, he had also seen parents of special needs children who had set higher expectations for their offspring, who continually and lovingly pushed for growth, with the result being that their children had a greater sense of mastery and independence as they aged.
The playing field may be uneven but progress can always be made
Of course, individuals with special needs are not as black and white as this anecdote makes things out to be, and whether a child is typical, or has a condition such as Fragile X, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, or Downs Syndrome, there are obviously children who are higher functioning, and children who are lower functioning, so right out of the gate the playing field is always going to be uneven.
But regardless of a persons’ starting point progress can always be made.
My point here is this:
What that pediatrician was trying to express to us, was that if we held a higher vision of what Oliver could do in the days and years to come, that this vision would serve him far better than holding a lower one.
And we have tried to do this.
Day in and day out, for going on thirteen years now.
But sometimes we are short on time, or we just want to get dinner over and done with so we can chill on the couch watching Netflix, so instead of insisting that he make his own peanut butter toast, or get his own chips and salsa, we do it for him.
But despite these lapses, when looking at the big picture, we DO continue to push him
A Higher Version For Ourselves
I love this idea of a higher visionfor ourselves that Oprah speaks about above.
Reading this quote first made me think of what the pediatrician said to us that day, and then it made me reflect on my own situation.
I don’t think I’m holding the highest vision for myself that I could be, and being maxed out with work, knee deep in parenting duties, being diligent about getting my workouts in, or the continuing decorating of our house (still no window coverings save for newspaper in our bedroom although we have been back in for going on 7 months now!), etc.…..
…these responsibilities are no excuse for not prioritizing the highest vision of myself.
I need to dream a BIGGER dream.
And this is true of my clients as well.
My sensitive, creative, funny, intelligent clients, who, despite their best intentions, are often playing way too small.
And deep down they know this, and they know this because they are dissatisfied with some aspect of their lives. And this knowledge, this friction doesn’t go away, it follows them and dogs them until eventually it brings them to my door.
They know, deep down in their soul that they care capable of more – we all are if we are honest with ourselves.
There will be a teenager in da house!
Going on a soul safari…
And that is where ‘soul safari’ activities like vision boarding comes in, and by ‘soul safari’ I mean any activity that assists you in tapping into your soul and discovering more about yourself.
Now if you thought that cutting out images from magazines and gluing them onto a piece of white cardboard, while laughing and conversing with other like – minded women was a frivolous way to fritter away a Sunday afternoon, you would be wrong – dead wrong.
Because vision boarding has everything to do with holding a higher vision for ourselves and for our life.
It gets us out of that timid, ‘I’m going to play it safe and small mindset’, and gives us something to shoot for – sparkly, golden goals that are guaranteed to help us live a more joyful life.
You can see them there can’t you?
Those shining aspirations of yours, laid out across that clean white paper, images of a bigger dream for yourself- the highest possible vision.
So let’s get to it!
If you haven’t booked your spot for the Vision Boarding event coming up this Sunday, April 14thclick HERE to get all the details.
The deadline for saving your spot in this Thursday, April 11th so don’t dawdle.
And whether you can make it to the VB event or not, you can – today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, choose one small task that will lead you down the path towards that highest possible vision for yourself.
You CAN do it!
xo
Eliz