It reduced me to tears.

 

I’m not sure where to start.

All I know is I feel angry and sad, and so I am turning to the one thing I always turn to when faced with powerful emotions-  I write.

 

It Reduced Me To Tears…

Here goes.

I was enjoying a leisurely Saturday morning lie in, sipping my tea in bed and flipping through the papers when an article caught my eye.

‘Disgusting’ bullying: Boy with cerebral palsy made to lie in muddy creek as human bridge for laughing classmates

– The Washington Post

This story, that took place in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia, reduced me to tears.

Deep Breath 

A young man with cerebral palsy, fourteen year old Brett Corbett, was sent to the school office when he turned up in class soaking wet, and when asked what had happened, he told the Principle that kids had dared him to swim in the creek behind the school.

The true story only came out when video of what actually occurred started circulating on social media.

Here is an excerpt from the WP story:

“In one video displayed with this article, Corbett, a high school freshman with cerebral palsy, is seen standing in the middle of shallow, murky water while more than a dozen kids stare down at him from the top of a small hill. He lies down on his stomach, keeping his palms flat in the mud to steady himself as the current rushes past him.

 Then, a moment later, a girl leaps from the bank, steps on Corbett’s back as if it were a springboard, and launches herself to the other side – turning Corbett into a human bridge.

 In another video, the teenagers are laughing hysterically. They yell at Corbett to get back in the water after he stands up. He doesn’t want to.

 “Do it, you f….. b….!” one classmate screams, and Corbett did.”

  Then three more students walked across him.

 

To Post About This Or Not?

 

Do you feel awful reading this?

I thought twice about writing this post because there is already so much negativity and pain in the world, and did I really want to inflict more on you through my newsletter?

Of course I don’t, but we need to balance the “ostrich hiding it’s head in the sand” impulse with taking a realistic look at what is going on in our world and examining our own actions in it.

So I am sharing it as a jumping off point to think about what the heck we are all doing with our lives.

How are we producing children that think it is ok to order a disabled boy into an ice cold stream and walk over him?

What the hell is wrong with our society?

And yes, I am a mother of a sweet young man who has a disability, and so this story hits me hard. But even without one of my sons’ having special needs I would still be angry.

I wonder about these bullying kids and their parents, because children as we know, emulate their parents.

And I also know that sometimes despite all good intentions, children can go off the rails.

In my view however, a child by the age of 10, maybe even younger, realizes the difference between right and wrong, so the responsibility in this case truly lies with the teenager instigators and bystanders.

How do they define a successful life?

What do they value as they move throughout the world?

 

In My ‘Hood

In my neighborhood there is one family who from the get go, pretty much shunned us from the moment we moved in.

At first I thought it was because of my son’s disability but after a few years I realized they avoided most everyone, and from sports teams to the school crossing guard, to the principle at our elementary school, they left a trail of conflict.

As an almost decade long observer of this family I have watched how those children have grown into ‘mini me’ versions of their parents, picking up what I can only describe as, negative and petty traits in the process.  And it wasn’t too surprising to hear that the mother and father recently went through a bitter divorce.

How does the individuals in that family define a successful life? I have often wondered.

It is certainly not through creating strong relationships in their community and giving back to others, and that is sad, because that is where the good stuff of life resides.

 

The World We Live In

 

Today our word is so visual, hyper paced, and focused on getting more.

As we prioritize making money and achieving status, over the care and nurturing of our children, we are instead creating a generation of self – centred, callous youth whose only goals are getting rich or famous and and to seeing how many ‘likes’ or followers they can get on the superficial world of social media.

Why did so many of those students film the awful treatment of Brett Corbett?

And they not only recorded it but seemed to have proudly posted it on social media?!

It’s hard to get your head around.

I know there are many decent young people out there to counter those, like the students above, who have clearly sinned, and by sinned I am not saying it in a biblical sense but am referring to the Latin meaning of the word which defines sin as having “missed the mark”.

These students have ‘missed the mark’ because they thought that by behaving like a group of screaming monkeys throwing rocks at a vulnerable member of their tribe for fun, that they would be cool, or be accepted.

And by not speaking up and saying “No that is not right!” they all hoped to avoid being on the receiving end of such abusive treatment themselves.

Superficial World, Superficial Goals 

What they will realize as they age, is that they will carry their shame and remorse for the part they played in this spectacle for many years to come, and this story for them, will never go away.

And for the victim?

Well there are people in their eighties that still experience nightmares over bullying that happened to them when they were kids.

It is so, so damaging.

But Brett Corbett, who said he did as the kids ordered because he wanted to be “accepted” says he has forgiven them. And that he hopes what he experienced will help prevent some other person from being treated so terribly.

This kid clearly has a big, bright, loving spirit and I believe he will do well in life. And it certainly has been heartening to see the outpouring of love he has received from people all around the world who, like me, feel so badly about what he had to go through.

My hope is that the young people who stood and watched Brett Corbett be humiliated will feel true remorse, embarrassment and sadness over how they have treated their fellow human being, and that they learn some important lessons from it.

But regardless I can’t shake the sense that we are all getting off track with our focus on all the “shiny things”, the flashy cars, big houses, the jet set lifestyle etc., because when we stop focusing on what really matters – our relationships with others, kindness and service to our community, we ALL lose.

 

What Will People Say About You When You Are Gone?

Think about it.

• What would you like people to say about you at your funeral?
• What would you want written on your gravestone?

 

That you had 20,000 Instagram ‘likes’ at the time of your death?

Or that you died with a million dollars in your bank account?

 

What about your children, or nieces and nephews, or your friend’s kids?

• How would you describe them?
• If they are still small, what type of individual would you like them see to grow into?

 

Not like one of the teenagers involved in the Glace Bay event, that I am sure of.

In the wake of this story, I know that I am going to be spending a few days thinking about how I define a successful life, and what I would like a successful life to look like for my children, and I’m going to further consider how I am showing up in the world and what I could improve upon.

After reading this, I hope you consider what a successful life means for yourself and your family as well.

Because I think we can all do a little better.

 

Until next time.

xo

Eliz

 

On Social……

On a lighter note, if you want to read about how the movie ‘The Princess Bride’ helped me deal with a demanding boss and get my ‘happy’ vibes back, click HERE

and look for the ‘As You Wish’ post.