This was a pre-workshop shot of TJ’s living room – we were a packed house but still managed to find room for an afternoon, shoulder to shoulder, stretch break!
How to create more freedom in your life
Our Love Warrior workshop was last weekend and TJ and I were thrilled with the turn out- It was a SELL OUT! A true testament to the power of this book. It was wonderful to get together with our fellow ‘sister warriors’ to discuss concepts from Glennon Doyle Melton’s bestselling book ‘Love Warrior’. Each woman that came out had a unique point of view and shared how Glennon’s story mirrored their own in some way.
This was powerful stuff people!
Well beyond the surface chit chat we get so often in groups- we talked about the life stuff that REALLY matters- things like; authenticity, grace, connection and courage and how these variable help us create true freedom in our lives.
TJ and I created and shared a couple of coaching exercises with the group during the workshop and for homework after. One topic we touched on was ‘Ways your authentic self says ‘NO!’.
Ways the authentic self (your true self /soul) says ‘No!’
At certain points in the book Glennon speaks about hiding behind her ‘representative’. She is talking about putting on that social mask that we hide behind when we aren’t sure what to do or we don’t have the courage to do what we really want to do.
In the book Glennon speaks about wearing clothes she isn’t comfortable in, dying her hair because she isn’t ok with her natural color, wearing a lot of makeup while noticing that her female therapist wears none, behaving in specific ways (bulimia, alcohol, drugs, sex, compulsive shopping, gambling etc…) in an effort to ‘fit in’, doing all this when deep down she feels horrible about how she is behaving and what she is doing with her life…
….that is what hiding behind your ‘representative’ looks like- things may look pretty at the surface but underneath it’s chaotic.
At the end of the workshop everyone got this small heart notebook for part of the homework exercise….also in the pic you can spot my research sticky notes for the workshop sticking out
Workshop Exercise
During the workshop we looked at ways of bringing our true selves to the forefront while simultaneously dissolving ‘the representative’. The first step in stepping out from behind your representative is realizing when it shows up.
Here are a few ways YOUR authentic self might be saying ‘no’;
- Energy crisis / Mood swings
- Getting sick
- Forgetting/ Making Mistakes / Social Slip Ups
- Addictions -alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, food…
- Fight or Flight
Do you recognize any of these?
I know I do!
Now what?
Get Conscious
If you can relate to this and you are conscious of the fact that you a) have a ‘representative’ and b) that she does indeed show up, then hooray for you because you are half way there! Being conscious of your ‘representative’ is truly a gateway to a more inspired life.
Get Curious
Now get a bit more curious about the specifics. Notice where your representative shows up, note the environment, the people that trigger you, how you behave and go DEEP with the why…
Ask yourself- what is it about this particular situation that makes me feel I need to ‘tamp down’ my true self?
For example-
Why when I go into a meeting with this person do I feel I need to put on my ‘academic’ or ‘professional’ facade? How do I want them to see me? Is this the real me? Why am I concerned about showing my ‘true’ self?
Get Courageous and …
One lovely workshop participant wisely pointed out that courage is a major theme of the book, and she was right. Being conscious is the first step, getting curious is the second, but to make a change, well that my friend is the third step because it takes courage!
…make a change!
It is one thing to notice when your representative is present but another to act on it. Being a ‘love warrior’ means being courageous and taking some kind of action intended to ‘disable’ the representative, which in turns leads to showing more of your authentic self to the world.
Keep in mind though that this doesn’t always mean taking massive action, it can also mean taking one teeny, tiny step in support of your true self which is a step towards FREEDOM.
….and who doesn’t want more of that in their life?
xo
Eliz
PS
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