Do As I Say Not As I Do lol

At this point we have racked up 3 months of ‘sheltering in place’ and for those of us with children or young adults, that means having them with us 24 -7. Up until now I was doing ok, but this week everything seemed to hit. The regularity of our daily routine, no real changes in scenery, the constant see – saw between work and parenting, and having to hear ‘Let It Go’ from the movie Frozen from 6AM to 8PM each day (courtesy of my son who has special needs), well let’s just say it did my head in!

Ironically this past week I failed to follow my own ‘medicine’ as laid out in my newest YouTube video about stopping the bad habits that contribute to low mood / feeling stuck. (Keep scrolling down to link to watch video.)

Back to School For One

My husband works from his office every second week and this last week he wasn’t around, and that always makes things tougher for me as I’m much more time pressed. In fact, yesterday my husband worked a 17 hour day! Yikes!

On the plus side, my eldest son started back to school part – time (mornings only) working with his SEA (Special Education Assistant) in a mostly deserted high school.

He was so happy to be back and this change brought some relief to both of us. Oliver and his younger brother have been doing their best, as have my husband and I, but dang! this last week was a KILLER.

I think it was the realization that there would be no sleep away summer camps for the kids and possibly no day camps at the recreation centres, and these supports are what help us manage during July and August, as they allow us both to work and provide the kids with some much needed variety and fun.

I know I’m lucky but this still sucks!

I also know I am lucky, because I can work from home and be with my kids, I’m not a front line worker in a hospital, I have a yard to sit in, family support, we have our health, I haven’t lost anyone to this awful virus, and yes I am extremely grateful for all that, but this experience has changed our lives, and change is always tough regardless of your situation.

This Covid-19 world is hard on the kids; children lose out on their summer activities / teams and camps, they can’t play with their friends, young adults have to forego graduation ceremonies and are having difficulty finding summer jobs, and for us parents, we are denied a much need break. Of course it is especially challenging for the elderly as well, in so many ways – the isolation, the fear of becoming ill and being unable to hug their grandchildren.

What William said.

Will, my other younger son, who is ‘typical’, well he saw his brother head off to school the other morning and then he said; ‘I want to go back too’. And just the day before he was saying how he had no interest in going back to the classroom, that he wanted to continue to do his school work remotely because he could then hang out with his family, go on long dog walks every morning and play lots of Fortnite!

Things That Help During a Stressful Time

So for me these past 12 weeks culminated in exhaustion and sadness, and having a good cry to my husband, (a good cry is SO therapeutic!), which then led to some much needed early bedtimes (for me!) and frequent long dog walks to find some peace and quiet.

Sitting in my backyard and taking in nature has also helped me to feel calm during these strange days. I particularly love our white clematis that has grown up and into my neighbour’s hedge (it reminds me of a waterfall) and at night, in the dark, the white flowers seem to glow. (Pic of the clematis flowers above).

Then there are the pair of stellar jays who have made a nest in the tree next to our house and they chatter and drink from our bird bath each day. We are lucky it is spring and at the very least we can enjoy being outside and all the beauty that nature offers.

Have you been practicing any of these ‘3 bad habits’?

And one mind set shift that will instantly increase your happiness!

Change your habits and you can change your life!

Above I mentioned how I was not following my own advice and falling into a few bad habits that contributed to my recent low mood. So I returned to practices that as a counsellor/ coach I often recommend to others to help get them out of a slump.

Practices such as;

• Spending time in nature (as I was doing enjoying my back yard / clematis)
• Restorative sleep
• Having something of beauty around you (bouquet of flowers, a clean, orderly kitchen, a picture that brings you joy next to your bed)
• Exercise / moving your body (sweat therapy!)
• Thought work, such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).

Switching Our Thoughts

An example of thought work would be taking the thought;

“I can’t handle this Covid-19 situation any more”

and instead turning that thought to;

“I have handled this Covid-19 situation up until now and I will continue to handle it”.

Instead of shutting down and using Netflix, junk food, on-line shopping or wine to disconnect, consider taking the time to reflect on the issues you are struggling with.

In my case, instead of complaining to my husband about how difficult everything was, I would be better served by looking into hiring someone to do fun activities with our two boys so I can get some work done, now that the corona virus restrictions have eased a bit.

That being said, never underestimate the power of a good cry! (as it is a processing of emotions and is very beneficial) but you want to cry and then move on – no wallowing allowed! 🙂

(*Of course this is situation dependent and here I’m not referring to someone who is grieving or dealing with trauma because as we all know processing these kinds of events can take much more time).

Things You Can Do Right Now!

When you watch my new video you will learn what those 3 bad habits are and what to do to keep from getting stuck, particularly if you are an empath like me. In the video I also share the one bad habit that kept tripping me up in my 20’s and 30s (but I’ve got it now! lol) and an easy mindset shift that will allow you to immediately increase your happiness.

So hang in there lovely, with the advent of summer and an easing of Covid-19 restrictions we may get back to our former lives in some way, shape or form, and if we don’t, well we can handle it, as

WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!

xo

Elizabeth

Watch the video HERE