Practicing ESC at the Sutton Place Hotel
Recently I checked myself in to a luxury hotel. I did this last year too. In fact I am determined to make this, at minimum, a yearly thing.
I checked into the the hotel and I stayed there ALONE for 2 nights, taking full advantage of the plush bathrobe, in-room coffee service, the fabulous view from the 19th floor, the gym with hunky looking actor types working out beside me, and the piece de la resistance– the ayurvedic massage done with hot oils perfectly blended to match my dosha (personality). Apparently I am Pitta.
It was bliss.
On the second day I flipped through a pile of books and magazines I had brought with me. I stared out at the neighbouring skyscrapers and saw a childrens’ playground on the 6th floor roof top of an apartment building across the way. I observed the mother as she watched her toddler slide down the blue and red slide. A roof top playground! Cool city stuff!
Descending down to the lobby I exited the hotel then wandered over to Fauborg Cafe for a parisian style breakfast, and at my leisure I read through the weekend newspaper. Then I shopped, admired the Christmas decorations that were going up, had my make up done (I had forgotten mine at home) and ate a fabulous chicken wrap with deep fried jalapeño peppers – Delish!! – from a food truck near the hotel. (Love the Vancouver food trucks).
Breakfast & newspaper a Fauborg Cafe
The entire weekend I would categorize as bliss.
My reason for telling you this is not to brag (and for the record I got a great deal on this lovely hotel from my good friend who works there (shout out to the Sutton Place-a fabulous place to stay peeps!),
– no, my reason for telling you this is to show you ESC in action. That would be Extreme Self Care don’t you know, and if you are like most people just reading this, the above intro will induce thoughts like;
‘Who does she think she is?‘ or ‘She must be loaded’. or ‘Doesn’t she have young kids? ‘Isn’t that kinda selfish?’
…but the fact of the matter is I am just the same as you, I am not selfish, and I am NOT loaded (do you think I would have a dark blue bathroom with angel wallpaper in my house if I was loaded?
Seriously-NO WAY.
The purpose of this post is to share with you what I have learned, how I went from a woman who did NOT practice ESC, to someone who wakes up in the morning excited about the day because I now DO practice ESC., and because I practice ESC everyone else in my family benefits too.
And …..
Even though ESC sounds easy is actually very hard to do.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
Checking In with the Checklist
First off lets have a look at the ‘have you lost yourself?‘ checklist.
8 Signs you have lost yourself
1) Your socks have holes in them and your underwear / lingerie could use an upgrade too (or just the word ‘lingerie’ induces a massive eye roll).
2) On a regular basis you fix your kids a healthy breakfast, but because you are running late you end up grabbing a coffee and muffin from the local Starbucks (caffeine & sugar- hard to resist I know…)
3) ‘Down time’ means (fairly regularly) parking yourself on the couch, binge watching Netflix shows and munching on things that come from crinkly bags
4) You do NOT make time for regular exercise
5) At 4PM on any given day (and on a consistent basis) you do NOT know what you will be eating for dinner that night
6) On a regular basis you have difficulty sleeping, or experience early morning (3 & 4 AM) awakenings
7) You have NO creative outlet
8) You cannot name a future dream / goal you have for yourself
Sooooo…. maybe if you experience one or two of these signs once in a while, then you are doing OK, you haven’t lost yourself.
But if you are experiencing several of the above on a consistent basis, then take this as a red flag, you are either in the process of losing yourself or…
….you are already lost my friend.
How Do I Know This?
I know this because at one point I could tick all those boxes and the result was not pretty (just ask my husband).
I was a woman with no gas left in my tank, unable to fully experience and appreciate my awesome kids, connect properly with my husband, or have fun with friends because I was so worn out from juggling the competing roles of mom, wife, employee, and soul.
Glennon Doyle Melton author of the awesome book Carry On Warrior (The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life) came up with a line that I like.
She says women are;
‘souls not roles’.
And this hectic life of balancing work, parenting, relationships, health and finances CAN be tough, and because it can be tough we have to remind ourselves that we are more than our ‘to do’ lists – we have souls, souls that need tending to.
And what I know, what I speak about in my workshops and in my coaching work with women, is that managing change and challenges can be done -and it doesn’t matter what that challenge or change is; divorce, illness, relocation, parenting issues, job loss, etc…. IT CAN BE DONE but only if you practice…
…EXTREME SELF CARE.
and by ESC I mean soulful activities like;
– time every day in silence (for at least 10 minutes), to check in with yourself, see how you are TRULY feeling, to meditate on where you want to go in the next hour, the next day, the next year, the rest of your life…
– eating food that comes from the ground not a bag
– clearing the ‘clutter’ out of your life or any other ‘energy drains’ (including toxic people)
– adequate rest & this includes naps
– moving your body every day if possible, or at least on a regular basis
– taking a ‘soul field trip’. Whether that means a stay in a hotel, a trip to a museum or art gallery, an antique store etc… whatever turns your crank , as long it is unstructured time to yourself
– having something to look forward to; cocktails with your girlfriends, a trip to a local ranch or spa, dinner out with family or…
…other simple ‘treats’ like making Christmas cakes with your Mom, or walking in the local park looking for leaves with your kids, or binging flowers to work, or a bubble bath after a hard day….
These are a few examples of activities or practices that for me, fill me up.
These same practices have also worked for my clients, and have basically worked for the entire human race in some way shape or form, since the dawn of mankind.
Silence or meditation (call it what you will), rest, proper nutrition, exercise, having a sense of community, play, experiencing solitude and beauty, staying away from people that may do you harm, simplifying, identifying your dreams….all of the above practices have played a part in various spiritual and cultural traditions for centuries. They have been passed down from generation to generation…
…because they work.
So if you can, try to carve out a little time and ask yourself;
‘Am I practicing extreme self care?’
and see if there is any area in your life that you may be neglecting.
City lights from 19th floor
No one is ever going to perfect this practice either so don’t beat yourself up if there are areas you need to work on!
I am writing this blog post from my cluttered office (although I do know what things are in what piles), and just before I sat down to write this I was snacking on potato chips left over from a family get together last night….
…and in preparation for that same get together I went to bed late because I was working on the dessert and so felt tired when I woke up Sunday morning…
…but still I keep trying to practice extreme self care because it makes ALL the difference!
And if you are feeling overwhelmed and extreme self care is NOT in your vocabulary, you may want to check out this link…
http://www.fullflightlifecoaching.com/overwhelmed-to-optimal/
Keep shooting for your dreams and thanks for allowing me space in your in-box!
xo
Elizabeth