Coco – my parents dog at their farm
Waaaaaaaaa! I survived June!
Yipeeeeeeeee!
Honestly for awhile there I did not think I would make it.
#BoycottJune
Soooooo many kids activities and school events in June!
Last year we spent the entire month of June in the UK visiting my husband’s family so I had had totally forgotten how crazy it could get. I unfortunately booked dentist and doctor appointments and scheduled work events and it was all compounded when I fell ill with a bad cold and then had to ask for two week extension on my deadline, so magazines articles that were originally due in May now were due mid-June right in the midst of the chaos.
Oh life, you always keep me guessing!
What made it doubly challenging was my son Oliver’s behaviour. Kids with an autism diagnosis tend to like structure and routine and at school, in June, that goes right out the window as sports day, field trips, picnics and assemblies fill the calendar.
He was downright miserable.
And to top it all off this was the month we were experimenting with different types of ADHD and anxiety meds for him and honestly given the pace of this last month I can’t tell what end is up at the moment.
Added to that it has been a tumultuous few weeks in the world with the tragedy in Orlando, U.S. Politics, Brexit (don’t even get me started!) and the final episode of Game of Thrones (for this year anyway) 🙁
Thank heavens I have my coaching tools to call on and despite the ‘crazy’ I have been consistently hitting the gym which has totally kept me on course! #winning
Tea Cups & Roses
This past weekend our we also had a goodbye dinner for our homestay student Rainy and the following day the Power Posse ‘Make It Happen!’ gals and I got together at my parents farm for our garden tea and group coaching session. It was perfect weather and a great time all round and a fun end to a hectic month.
(*I think I have got it now-September, December and June are the killers when you have small kids right!? lol)
Tea (in my favourite tea cup) and treats with the Power Posse MIH Gals
Holiday, Celebrate! Summer is officially here…
So tomorrow we are off on our two week family holiday to our summer home but before we go I wanted to send this missive to you!
Wild At Heart, a Q&A, and an Oprah article…
As you might know, my friend and fellow Martha Beck coach TJ and I are hosting our ‘Wild At Heart’ retreat in late September and I am SO looking forward to it.
There is something incredibly moving about the land that Apache Springs sits on and being around the horses is magical.
TJ and I ran a similar retreat last year called ‘Women in Transition’ to great success and I cannot wait to do it again and spend more time with the horses at that beautiful, peaceful ranch (which by the way graced the cover of Phoenix Home and Garden a few months ago).
Feedback from last years retreat was very positive with one participant saying;
‘I felt blessed to have been part of this unique experience at this magical location, with a great group of women. The only thing I would have liked is ‘more’ of everything (except more women as it was lovely having a small group and getting to know each other)’
In today’s newsletter I am sharing a post I originally published last year. It is the story of how TJ and I first connected and a Q & A with her. In it she speaks about why she was drawn to horses, Apache Springs and equus coaching.
How TJ and I first connected
We first met when we were newly enrolled students in Martha Beck’s life coach training program. You may know Martha from Oprah’s magazine ‘O’ where she is a monthly contributor, and YES she is as good as they say when it comes to life coaching!
In fact she is down right remarkable but I digress…
Shortly after classes started I reached out to TJ online as I had seen from the class list that she was also from Western Canada and I was hoping to connect with others in the Pacific time zone. The majority of the other students in the program were from the States, some were even from as far away as Germany, Dubai and Malaysia.
Our on line conversation went like this;
Eliz: ‘I live about 40 minutes from Vancouver’.
TJ: ‘I’m from Surrey’.
Eliz: ‘Really? I’m from Surrey too, South Surrey’.
TJ: ‘I’m from South Surrey too…’
We whittled it down even further and discovered that we live in the same neighbourhood and that I could walk to her house in about 10 minutes!
While we were immersed in our coach training TJ was also working on her equus coaching certification with Koelle Simpson at Martha’s North Star ranch in Northern California as well as renovating the horse ranch that she and her husband had recently bought, AND doing all that needs to be done when you are a Mom with 3 older kids, one of whom still lives at home.
This was one busy lady!
Q & A with Certified Equus Coach TJ Killoran
TJ with her horses
Eliz: So TJ what inspired you to sign up for equus coaching?
TJ: After attending an equine facilitated learning workshop with my sister, entitled ‘The Power of the Herd’, I was mesmerized. I had not been around horses for many years. My older sister invited me to a workshop in Arizona, and told me it involved “leadership and horses”. It sounded fun, and at that point in my life, I was looking for adventure, excitement, something new. I went and found everything I was looking for and more! I had not been as nervous, curious, elated, teary, connected and alive, as I was those four days.
At the end of the fifth day, I did an exercise that was called ‘Hearts Desire’ it is similar to a body compass exercise (Eliz-this is a Martha Beck tool that we use in coaching), except with horses. With my eyes closed, I was asked to scan my body for sensations- while I did this, I was also asked what visions or pictures I could see. I said the first thing that came to mind, which was;
“I see a herd of horses running from left to right in front of me with their manes blowing in the wind. I also see a Native American’s profile with long dark hair blowing in the same direction as the horses are running, so that the hair of the horses manes overlapped with the hair of the Native American”
This may not seem odd except that I was a Vancouver gal, with no real connection to Native American people, and never before this moment had ever had images of horses in my head. None of it made much sense until a few months later when I found myself the owner of a ranch in Arizona that had previously been Apache Indian land, and later an Arabian horse breeding ranch. This is just one example of the strange experiences I had while at this equus retreat.
Eight months later I saw an article in Oprah’s magazine describing an equine facilitated retreat with Koelle Simpson.
I went to the weekend retreat which was called ‘Listening for Truth’, and once again I was torn open. I did a lot more crying at this one, but they were break through tears. I fell in love again with the horses, with the facilitators, and what coaching with horses could do for people. I went home, signed up for life coaching with Martha Beck (which you had to have in order to be an Equus Coach) and Equus coaching with Koelle Simpson, and 18 months later and after many trips to California, I was both a Certified Martha Beck Life Coach and a Certified Equus coach. (*Note- TJ is currently working on her Masters in Equus Coaching)
Eliz: What makes equus coaching different than regular life coaching?
TJ: Horses are prey animals. In the wild their lives depend on the accurate readings of their environments. The minute you walk into a round pen (even before you walk in) you are in the horses environment and a conversation has begun. Without judgement a horse will reflect back to you how you show up in the world. Through the guidance of your coach and the gentle interaction with the horse you will receive a portal into self discovery that is not available elsewhere. With a clear sense of self you will learn what it means to direct your life from your essential self and thrive in the world with increased ease and purpose.
Eliz: What is one of the more memorable moments you have had with a client while doing the equus coaching?
TJ: I was working with a professional woman who is employed in the financial sector. Being young and female she is in the minority in this industry. She had no prior horse experience, but was curious to see if working with a horse in a round pen could improve her leadership skills at the office.
The horse she worked with was a spirited Arabian female named Gypsy. When she entered the ring, the horse quickly moved to the other side of the arena. She tried to interact with Gypsy, but the horse was not interested. I asked her to see if she could get the horse to do something that she asked it, like to move to the other side of the arena or move in a certain direction. This young woman tiptoed around, a little nervous, and it was clear that the whole experience was taking her out of her comfort zone. After several minutes of trying different things and not being able to get Gypsy to respond I asked her to take a break and just breathe.
I explained to her that in a herd of horses, the leader is determined by the other horses, as the horse that has the most calm, clear energy will be the leader of the group. Horses are prey animals, and their main goal is to stay alive. The horse that can keep the herd out of danger is the leader. The herd will entrain (connect) to the calm energy of the leader, and the rest will willingly follow.
I asked the client ‘Who in this situation is the leader, you or Gypsy?’ She thought about this while she continued the breathing exercise, and in the process became very still and focused. Gypsy calmed down and turned towards her. The horse had immediately responded to the change in the young woman’s heart rate, sensing the calm that the client was now experiencing. When I asked her to try again to engage with Gypsy she did so with ease. The horse was more than willing to do what was being asked of her, which was simply to walk in a slow pace around the outside of the round pen.
The client explained to me that once she got clear that this big, strong animal was actually looking for a leader, she overcame her fear, and was able to step up and lead. I asked her how this feeling of calmness might help her out in the workplace? Now that she had a visceral feeling of what it meant to be a leader, she could take this home with her and call upon the memory whenever she felt the need to step into the leadership role.
Eliz: Why did you and your husband decide to purchase a ranch in Arizona?
TJ: My husband was selling his company and was about to retire at age 55. I only had one child left at home, and was beginning to wonder “what comes next?” During the final dinner at the equine facilitated retreat I attended with my sister someone mentioned Apache Springs Ranch, and how it had been sitting empty for the past four years. Out of the blue, I found myself asking if the ranch was for sale. It was. I promptly went home and told my husband we should buy that ranch. My husband and kids thought I had lost my mind. I went to bed, and unbeknownst to me, my husband had stayed up long after me to research the ranch on the internet. By morning he was asking me if I was committed, because he now thought this was the best idea in the world.
One month after going to the horse workshop with my sister, my husband and I flew down to see Apache Springs. It was February 14th, 2013. We were awestruck. By the end of May 2013 we had signed the contract and were the proud owners of the ranch. Prior to the workshop with my sister 5 months earlier, I had never ever considered living in the desert OR owning a ranch – this was the result of one weekend of coaching with horses- Beware !
Eliz: What makes Apache Springs so special?
TJ: There is something about the land there, the history, the beauty, the animals, the ruggedness, the remote solitude that makes being there magical. I can’t really explain why or what it is exactly, but it truly is an oasis in the desert!
End of Q & A
So now you know a little more about TJ and about equine facilitated coaching!
If you want to get the details about our upcoming ‘Wild At Heart’ retreat Click here
If you want to check out the equus coaching article in ‘O’ Magazine Click here
I now have a boat to catch…
That’s it for me my friend- I now have bags to pack, sandwiches to make and a ferry to catch!
Hope your June was much calmer than mine lol and that your July is fun filled and relaxing as a good July should be…
xo
Eliz
Waiting on the posse….